In Need of Some SERIOUS Help!!

So I am in the middle of writing my personal statement for my PhD and was wondering if people could give me any tips whether it is grammar or a typo to anything they think I have missed. This is really important to me so I appreciate any comments. Thanks.

I originally decided to study engineering as I wanted to solve problems with innovative solutions. I believe the biggest problem today is global warming and mankind’s reliance on fossil fuels to provide us with energy. Fossil fuels are being depleted at an alarming rate and without any obvious solution to a potential energy crisis in the coming years I believe that the research undertaken by todays PhD students will be the solutions we see tomorrow. I am passionate about Low Carbon Technologies as I believe that the current alternatives are not enough and that new, viable alternatives need to be found. An example of the limitations of current alternatives would be the electric car. Developed to reduce emissions and reliance on petrol the electric car prides itself on ‘zero emissions’ however, most electricity is produced via the burning of fossil fuels and therefore not a lasting alternative to petrol engines. Not only is electricity produced using fossil fuels but the current power grid does not have the infrastructure to support the conversion of homes to electric cars.

I have been interested in Low Carbon Technologies for a long time which is evident in my attendance to Southampton University on a Sustainable Energy Engineering Headstart course. During this week I undertook a number of classes including building a miniature fuel cell. Since that time I have a developed a passion for education and learning and have strived to further my understanding in a number of different subjects including; achieving Level 1 in British Sign Language, and am currently taking a programming course in addition to my final year. I believe this PhD would combine both of my passions and not only make me an expert in the Low Carbon Technology field but put me in a position to share my knowledge and enthusiasm with the next generation

Studying a masters in Engineering has also provided me with a skill palette to support my application. Numerous team projects, and leading my current project (Designing a 3D printed UAV run using fuel cells), have provided me with valuable communication and organisational skills. My communication skills have also been tested by being a representative for my course for the last 3 years. As a representative I have been responsible for presenting the views of my year to the Staff:Student Forum and to the Industrial Advisory Board and was nominated for an award for my work last year. This year I have also become a member of the committee for Sign Language Society and am responsible for the organisation of all its social events. In my 3rd year I undertook an individual project looking at fluid flow within the eye, this meant that I had to be self-motivated and able to research literature in new and developing fields.

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